Pandora's Egg
by MakeACircuitWithMe
Summary: Cross-cultural exchange is a good thing, right?  Usually, the answer would be yes... until everyone's favourite pranksters get involved. Then it often results in certains things not quite working properly. Set semi G1/AU.


"I swear to Primus, I'm gonna rearrange _**ALL**_ of that girl's parts myself!"

Swoop wanted nothing more than to keep as much distance between himself and the thoroughly irritated C.M.O. as possible. Unfortunately, he had been the only other medic still on base when the incident occurred, therefore he was needed, and he stayed.

"Frag it, Huffer! If you don't stop squirming, I'm gonna leave this slag where it is and you can squish and squeak for the next few thousand orns!"

The minibot froze. He wasn't the cause of Ratchet's ire, nor did he wish to be. So he sat unmoving while the medic none-too-happily removed the amorphic polymer from his internals; complete with muttering and cursing, of course.

"Primus help her if this is that experimental explosive compound Wheeljack's been working on!"

Huffer's optics grew impossibly large and his jaw fell open at the thought, no matter how remote, that it _could_ be.

"I'll see to it that every, single, one of her privileges on this base are revoked!"

He removed another glossy, beige blorb and gingerly placed it in the tray Swoop held out for him, just as he'd done for the last several joors and 12 mechs. To the best of his knowledge (_Primus, please?_), Huffer was the last mech still infected with this abomination. It was greasy and slippery and wound its way into every possible crevice in a mech's internals, where it stuck with a ferocity he'd rarely encountered.

Ratchet swore the girl had as much of a deathwish some days, as their own beloved twins. The same twins who no doubt had more than one had in this debacle.

"Alright, Huffer, that looks like the last of it. I'll run another scan to be sure, but in the meantime …"

The MedBay doors opened with a soft whoosh behind them. Ratchet, Swoop, and Huffer all turned in time to see Prowl walk in carrying a defiant looking human.

"_**YOU!**_" Ratchet hissed at her. "_**YOU**_caused all this! I'm gonna…"

"Easy, Ratchet. She's already been read her rights. She's here to see firsthand the results of her … _idea._"

At the sight of the fuming medic, the human sank back into Prowl's arms, hoping for some form of protection. She got none.

"Her 'idea'? This was HER idea? This … this … this fragging mess was HER idea?"

"Well, not exactly," her words quieter than usual in the presence of the two senior officers; her eyes large and feigning innocence.

"'Not exactly'?" Prowl's optic ridge arched as he looked at her. She instinctively sank further into his arms. "I thought you said you were responsible for this?"

"I said I was responsible for _part_ of it. I'm not responsible for the whole thing."

Ratchet leaned closer; his optics working hard to turn the same shade of red as the crosses on his shoulders. He gritted his denta.

"Which part?" he hissed at her.

"The Silly Putty."

Ratchet did a double take. Prowl furrowed his optic ridge. Swoop and Huffer stood silently by.

"The 'Silly Putty'? What the slag is 'Silly Putty'?"

"That," she said raising a shaking hand to point to the tray Swoop held. "That stuff's called Silly Putty."

"Where did it come from?" Prowl asked calmly.

"It better not have come from Wheeljack's lab!"

Her gaze shifted nervously between Prowl and Ratchet before she answered, well aware that everything she said _would_ very much be held against her.

"I ordered it on the internet. There's sites that sell it by the case load, and well, I thought…"

"You thought it would be fun to torture me with it today, huh?" Ratchet spit at her.

"No. It's a kid's toy. It's meant to be played with."

"Slaggit! And let me guess which "kids" you gave it to to play with…" Ratchet's ire seemed to be growing with her explanation, instead of cooling. He stepped back and began pacing the MedBay; muttering under his breath again.

"Should I ask why you ordered so much of this substance?" Prowl was calm on the exterior, but on the interior she knew he was every bit as aggravated with her as Ratchet was.

"Well. It only comes in these tiny, little eggs. So, I figured given our size differences, more would be better."

"You should think longer and harder before you ever order something like this again."

Prowl's words were a warning.

"It's not an explosive?" Huffer's self concern cut through the heavy air that had fallen over the room.

"Hardly," she replied. "It's a toy. It was originally developed as synthetic rubber substitute back in the '40s. It wasn't any good for that, but turns out it was great for a whole bunch of other things. You can put it on paper and it'll copy the print off it. You can roll it up in a ball and bounce it – and boy does it BOUNCE! _BOOOOIIINNNGGG!_ " She grinned; mimicking the motion.

"Or you can figure a way to transfuse into it the hot wax sprayer in the washrack, and watch it gum up the internals of every mech who uses it."

Her grin faded fast when she saw that Ratchet had turned back to glare at her.

"I didn't have any part in that." she whimpered and sank back into Prowl's arms. She glanced up at him briefly, but turned her attention to the floor when she met his stern expression.

"Primus! If enough of this stuff got into the internal workings, a mech wouldn't be able to function on even the most basic level till it was removed. They'd be in absolute miser…" Ratchet's word stopped short. His optics took on an ominous shine. His lips spread in the most Grinch-like grin she'd ever seen.

"Ratchet? You were saying?" Prowl prodded the C.M.O.

Ratchet stood there and began to cackle. It was a low rumble at first, but quickly gained momentum till it erupted into full blown maniacal laughter. Everyone stood their ground and watched him; uncertain.

"Huffer. You're clear. Feel free to leave my MedBay at your earliest convenience. Swoop. Finish the report on Huffer. Close it out and leave it in my box. Prowl. She's all yours! Do whatever you want with her! I have something I need to take care of!" Ratchet declared as he headed toward the door.

"Ratchet?" Prowl looked at the medic; perplexed. "Where are you going?"

Ratchet stopped to look back at the SIC; an evil twinkle had replaced ominous shine in his optics. His grin had grown to swallow the bulk of his face.

"I'm going to order several crates of this 'Silly Putty' myself!"

With that he disappeared out the MedBay doors, leaving the others lost in confusion. Huffer hoped off the berth and quickly made his way out of the room. Prowl shook his helm and looked at the girl.

"Now what have you done?"

She answered him with a contorted face and a shrug of her shoulders. He sighed at her.

"Swoop. You have Ratchet's orders – see to them."

"Me, Swoop, do it! But what me do with this?" he asked holding out the tray of retrieved putty.

Prowl looked at it, pondering the answer himself.

"Get rid of it – somehow," he said before taking his leave.

Swoop watched Prowl leave with the girl. He stood there a few moments, before turning to complete the report; the tray full of putty set next to the console. He would poke at it periodically; curious. Maybe he'd take it home to his brothers. After all, his friend, Rinn, had said it was a toy. She'd said it could be a ball - a ball that bounced really high. Snarl and Sludge liked to play with balls, and he could drop it from heights that would really make it fun!

He read, and reread, the report. It all looked in order. Huffer's condition when he reported to MedBay. The diagnosis. The treatment. The prognosis. It was all there. He looked at the one incomplete section; contemplating it. Finally, he added his comments to it.

_Follow up/medic notes:_

_Follow up with Medical team. Ratchet head not working properly._

He added his designation coding to it, and closed the file. He slipped the datapad into Ratchet's box, then hurried back towards the quarters he shared with his fellow Dinobots, all too eager to show them their new toy.

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_**A/N**_

_You guys needed a happy one after the last couple. So here it is. Its dedicated to my friend Vamp, cos she needs a pickmeup right now. And since she inspired this little gem, I figured it was only right. ::huggles:: Vamp! 3 3_

_I don't own any of the characters except the OC. The rest are owned by however owns them. I don't make any money off this, I do it for fun and to help my friends feel better._


End file.
